I am writing this to you to finally say goodbye. I hope you will never return to me. I have the best of memories, and the worst of memories from you. You have controlled my life for way too long. Even though I let you take me in your arms when I was 22, you have had control of my life since I was 16. You have the worst grip on Terry, and you have affected my life through him. You have caused fighting and every last beating I took for 6 years. You gave me the worst vision that I will live with this for the rest of my life, that the love of my life, my soul mate, left hanging in my front yard dead, no pulse. You took my spot in his life; He ran straight to you after being saved by me from the tree. You took him from his family, his kids, his wife and himself. I never understood why you were his best friend that he always turned to for everything, no matter what bad you brought him, until the day I put you in my arm.
You gave me a feeling no one or thing could ever give me, you blocked out everything I wanted you to block out. You gave me energy that was well needed. You gave me all my so-called “friends.” You gave me wonderful sex. You gave me money. You took care of my every need well until I finally was able to walk away from you, and crush my rig that i always carried you in. I realized that all you really gave me was HELL. You gave me marks that I will be reminded of every day. You gave me an ugly mind that doesn’t work that well. You made me isolated from my family, friends, and my kids. You took away my ability to be a good mom. You took me away from my kids lives one day at a time. You took all my good looks, you even took my teeth from me. In only two months you took and took from me until the only thing left to take from me was my life . Thats why I said good bye to you when I did. You were working on that, and fast. You gave my kids a dad that has not been there for a year now, and a mom thats struggling so hard to be the mother I want and use to be.
So goodbye. I hope and pray we never meet again.
Always and Forever,